Silent agony
by Travis Williams
Summary: I needed to punch something. I quickly looked around the passage for something my grief hardened fists wouldn't completely destroy. I spotted a burlap sack full of rice, and didn't hesitate. For every thought, I pounded that bag: {Jared brought victims} Bam! {Doc cut them up} Bam! {I left Wanda alone} BAM! {Soul blood covering the walls} BAM! {Wanda's in agony}


****What up guys 'n gals! This is my first Fanfic ever! Wooohoo! Hope ya like!****

 **I don't own the Host**

 _ **Ian's POV**_

By the third day I was beginning to think she was trying to starve herself to death. I pushed the try of food I had brought to her closer, until it touched her leg and she flinched.

"Please, Wanda. Please eat something." I begged her, placing my hand on her shoulder. She flinched away again and I quickly removed it.

"Please don't hate me." I pleaded, "I'm sorry. If I had known… I would have stopped them. I won't let it happen again." She didn't respond.

"I should have told you," I whispered. We sat for a second, and even though I had said it, I didn't know if telling her would've cause any less pain.

"Please eat."

She said nothing, and silence returned, for about an hour. I finally couldn't stand it any longer. I stood up, and left, wiping a tear from my cheek. Letting my despair fester and solidify in the pit of my stomach. As soon as I was out the door, I ran. I ran until I made it to the storage area, the only place I could think of that would be far enough away from everyone in the caves. Once there, felt my heartache migrate from my gut to my fists. I needed to punch something. I quickly looked around the passage for something my grief hardened fists wouldn't completely destroy.

I spotted a burlap sack full of rice, and didn't hesitate.

For every thought, I pounded that bag: _{Jared brought victims}_ Bam! _{Doc cut them up}_ Bam! _{I left Wanda alone}_ BAM! _{Soul blood covering the walls}_ **BAM!** _{Wanda's in agony}_ _ **BAM!**_ _{And I am powerless to stop it}_ _ **BAM!**_

Woosh! The top of the bag burst open, rice spilling out onto the floor. I sighed, _{I guess picking up rice is a good enough way to cool down…}_ I thought as I started scooping loose rice into my hand. I had almost all of it in the bag, and Jeb showed up.

"Now Kid, this isn't something to destroy innocent rice bags over." _{Ah, only you, Jeb}_ I thought

"She'll come around before long."

"How much longer Jeb?! It's been _three_ days! I'm beginning to think she'll be like that forever…" I growled through my clenched teeth. I turned back to my task to calm down. "She refuses to eat, or drink, or move in any way shape or form. Except for flinching when you try to touch her." Jeb was silent then I heard him leave. I looked on after him. _{Where the heck is he going?}_ I wondered getting up to follow him, but realised I should finish cleaning up first. I quickly gathered all the stray grains, dropped them in the bag and set the sack so it wouldn't tip back over. Then I went looking for Jeb. I checked the main plaza, the hospital wing, and the kitchen, and then Jamie's room. No where. Jared was sitting next to Jamie, he looked worried.

"Hey, Jared, do you know where Jeb is?" I asked him

"I thought I saw him heading to the game room when I came here." He answered in a monotone voice, not looking up from Jamie.

"Thanks… Jared? Don't worry man, he'll pull through." The corner of his mouth lifted for half a second, but he said nothing. Without another word, I headed to the game room, dreading every step. When I walked into their circle of light, I saw Jeb sitting next to an unfolded Wanda… Who had _food_ in her hand! My heavy heart was suddenly soaring. My elated relief must have been too obvious, because her face filled with guilt.

"Here you are, Jeb," I said in a restrained voice -trying to hide my joy and relieve her unnecessary guilt. I sat down next to them, closer to Jeb though, I didn't want to push her. "Jared guessed you might be here."

Wanda scooted closer to me and put her hand on top of mine, "Sorry," she whispered, her voice hoarse from dormancy. I turned my hand over to hold hers,

"Don't apologize to me." _{You don't have anything to be sorry for.}_ I added in my head

"I should have known. Jeb's right. Of course you fight back. How can I blame you for that?"

"It's different with you here. It should have stopped." I looked down again, ashamed

"All's fair in war," Wanda said trying to smile.

I forced a smile too, 'And love. You forgot that part."

 **Wha'd ya think? Don't forget to comment! Thanks!**


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